Friday, May 27, 2005

Think about your life

After conversation with one of the company's more bigger "shot" sk today, i've actually realised that i haven't been planning much about my life... much has been said today, and though most of them are not very pleasing to the ears, it is however hard facts of life... facts of life that cannot be changed. So what after you do get into u? how much can u earn when u come out? how long are you going to live off your parents? How far out into the future can you see? Is the job market out there good? Are we going to be able to survive?
Was he correct? That nothing is worst than a person who is lazy to plan for his life... that whoever is lazy to plan or to action now will in the end be the last to suffer... have i wasted the upper half of my life doing nothing, escaping reality by falling back on my parents? Its true... how... Sorry if i any of u feels that im ignoring your of not acting myself. Its just the recent turn of events has made me think... alot, suddenly in one day to uncover so much of what you have been doing, its really quite something. I have to think... to consider...
Humans don't like hearing truth about what they don't like, they like to hear false recongintions of what they like...
Sorry if any of you can't understand, dun worry its just me~ *sigh*

Thursday, May 26, 2005

When trouble goes

Well i think i have gotten myself out of a very touchy situation, although it is not the end yet, i think it'll probably go over soon. So basically i'll miss those ppl there i think, some of them are good ppl with good intentions but some of them? I dunno, dun want to comment. Of those ppl i think i will miss although i only see them 2 times are jia mei, wen quan, sk, wen quan's friend who looks like andrew, maybe Johnathan. The bearded guy there and probably edwin who is quite a good speaker. I actually did think of sk's (sk reminds me of wei xiang) questions prompted at me n i guess i couldn't really voice them out at that time due to too many ppl and all. I guess i'll answer the next time we talk?
Maybe i shouldn't even have agreeded on the 1st day. What some of the things sk said are really true though, life, ideals, so on and so forth... if he was to talk to me on the 1st day though i would probably be more decisive of my actions right then and not screw up the whole thing now...
It was a harsh decision which i initally could not bring myself to say, only at that time, that place, that situation did i actually manage to bring myself to say it... I guess its just something i had to say but atmosphere was wrong. Somemore it really pains me to spoil a friendship so difficultly set-up.
Anyways this post is really dedicated to my very very wonderful shifu, i want to thank her for sitting down with me and listening to my views and decisions. Actually i tot she would cry~ but heng never... (can't stand girls who cry, if u want me to give in just cry). So a thousand thanks for a shifu who is always there to listen to me trash out my rubbish feelings. And who seriously considered my decisions and accepted them although she had to be really dissapointed, sad and heartbroken. And now because of me, she probably has to face some unthoughtful collegues about my irresponsibilty and all.
I just found out that the 2 hardest words to say to a friend whom u have hurt is... thank you...
Arigato shifu.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Life is trouble

Yeah i've finally packed up my table, this is due to constant nagging from my mom, anyways i do really need a clean up for my table its stacked with soooo many unwanted stuff. No one can beat my table when it comes to messiness. Not much of an re-arrangement just the basic stuff. I've completed project "illegal" and next busy thing is work... + some trouble i have unwittingly got myself into. Hope i can clear up and round up the stupid trouble soon. The longer it drags the worst it gets. Just hope i can clear up the trouble.
On the other hand, my father's boss's daughter just bought a new house with all the furniture intact. And just nice the daughter just brought a new fridge, so he gave my father the fridge (which is also new). The installation of the new fridge caused the shifting of some of the heaviest machines in my kitchen... The washing machine, the old fridge, the new fridge... u name it. So now our club have a new fridge~ Haha my old one. Wonder where to put... hmmm... hmm... Urgh need to solve my prob pronto, otherwise i will really have no life...

Sunday, May 15, 2005

So much more

Ok so i've been lazy not updating and so on and so forth. Hey i've finally finished my GTG post. And my GT post as well, left with the swensen's one. And yeah still have somemore to update. About work maybe? Dunno quite a number of things on hand now, when i find the time i'll try to do it, but that depends on my recreational thingys... Nose infection is back to hunt me la... Dunno and i try not to think of the future too much. I just can't bring myself to do it, because i'll never know the outcome and also because of the talk with zhen wei. Thinking... hmm thats all! OOHHH kingdom of heaven and star wars, i wanna watch. And oh yeah guess who is nice. And looking forward to harry potter at nov... But thats like gonna be my exams... guess im sooo gonna hate yr 3... Wahaha~

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

GTG = Great Teacher GOH!

Yeah mAN GUESS WAD? AH LAI CAN CYCLE! WAHHAAHA all thanks to? GTG (great teacher GOH!). Yeah it was sorta impromptu... I was slping myself dead the whole of last sat (7/5/05) because my bro was horging the com... I even replied messages while i was half aslp... Anyways it was a good rest from all the exhaustion build up from the past week. Just before i left to meet up with zhen wei and gang, i received a call from my best friend regarding his chalet. He organise liao but no one go. So he chio me go, then the wicked thought of TORTURING AH LAI came into my mind!
And so i devised a plan to convince him to come my chalet so that i can torture him using his greatest fear! A BICYCLE! And the plan worked out nicely... "Guess who" was nice and Botak alvin was with us! Woooo... Decided to go somewhere to tok cock after that but everywhere was full house... and we ended up in cafe cartel. My 1st time there... i've heard some very good comments abt tat place so it was quite a pity i couldn't eat their full meal... There's always a next time!
So after that the rest took train back home while me and ah lai took taxi straight to chalet. Went in, introduced, said Hi. And found out that 2 bikes where left at macdonalds... walked with ah lai all the way there to collect the bike, then walked all the way back. Then all my friends started cycling to changi village for supper while i stayed behind to teach ah lai. ER HM... i meant TORTURE! Torture training only commenced at 1am...

Torture training schedule (By GREAT TEACHER GOH):

Time :1st Hr
Module: Bike fundamentals and balancing practise
Comments: Contrary to popular belief student was found to be able to grasp balancing quite well and could go straigh while zig zagging within 30 mins. Theory of inbalance due to his chest deformaties was proven wrong.

Time: 2nd Hr
Module: How to achieve straightness
Comments: Module emphasized on getting student to go straight. Problems associated with the student in starting the bike was sloved. It was found that he had short legs which could not reach the next paddle in time. During the start teacher was able to pace with the bike but a few minutes later the bike outrolled the teacher... and left the teacher very tired and sweaty... Subtle improvements were made by the student.

Time: 3rd Hr
Module: Application of going straight
Comments: Student was made to do a field trip to 7-11, trip was successful with student stopping only once or twice. However the teacher was greatly depressed when he found out that 2 average looking woman were transvertites, at the toilet between the chalet and 7-11. Later on at 7-11 4 trans appeared including the 2 which the great teacher saw eariler. It was quite petrifying... Later on the student and teacher took a short break while paddle pops and pink dolphins + a little small talk.

Time: 4th Hr
Module: How to slack
Comments: Not much student and teacher still resting

Time: 5th Hr
Module: Turning
Comments: Basics on how to turn, student took the whole hour to learn only abit of the turning and could only manage large gradual bends at the end. Student fell many times during the training as he attempted the training circuit designed by the great teacher. During this time however great teacher's friends returned and student went back to the chalet too sadly along the way back student crashed into a fench beside him. Student was injured and bleeding.

Time: 6th Hr
Module: More Turning
Comments: Teacher became smarter and took one bike for himself so he no need to run so much.
Student did more practise and managed to do more acute turns. But still unstable. Teacher thinks thats good enuff for 6 hrs of learning and together they cycled bedok jetty where they posed for pictures and made themselves look like idiots. But the picture was nice. There was no sunrise because of bad weather. Field trip went on to the other end of ECP and they met adeline's father, shortly after tat cats and dogs fell from the sky. In order to escape the barrage of animals they went to hide in the nearby pavillion. As soon as the sky cleared up they chionged back. But in the middle the rain came again. And they were drenched, with wisdom, the teacher had already waterproofed his belongings. So camera was fine.

-End of training-

After that ah lai slpt like a pig in the chalet while sitting. While i played tai dee with them for a few rounds. Before ah lai and i went to get breakfast for the chalet guys. Then we went to return the bike before heading for ah lai's house... but nooo... the great teacher forgot his wallet, handphone and keys... so we had to walk all the way back to the chalet. By that time ah lai was cursing me liao, cos we are both wet and smelly + abrasion + ah lai butt pain. But we got free feeder bus to bedok. Phew~ ate brunch at the hawker centre before going to ah lai's house. Reach his house liao and right after he bathe he slept like a god damn log... And me? help him piece his puzzle. After tat i went home, bathed again then slp... 2 days straight of no sleep. Any more of this and i'll be dead.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Bad things comes in torrents

Yeah so wad if kelvin is in the airforce being a pilot? So wad if he has wonderful grades in his JC? Must u make comparsions? why can't i just live my own life? Why do you say i never plan for my life and never study when i actually have a plan and my results aren't bad. Why do you keep pinpointing at me when im slacking at home instead of giving me some support when im out studying? Why do you always have to pinpoint on the time i spend on my activities? And why do u stupidly want me to apologise when i've not done any wrong things? Its not a matter of pride that i dun say its a matter that no apologies are needed. I see no wrong i did, and no wrong you did. No need to say any sorry. But u have to force me to say it? Sorry man over my body! See u tml results.

Just a thought

Everyone identfies the problem, but who will recitify it? or can it be recitified? Is a sacrifice really nessecary?... more action less talk...

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

sort of a worst day in my life

sorry for not continuing on my previous post... cause today was one sucky day. Think i must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed today. Or too little slp causes the low anger tolerance...
The moment i woke up, i felt my horrible nose infection and produced a phelgm so thick that the basin would get choked. Spoilt my appetite so straight to the shower... mood was super bad somehow.
Reach Airforce school guardhouse kanna checked by a very pissed off guard for handphone, lucky i got bring a dud to block myself... but i was turned off by him. When ming shen went to surrender his phone, the person there also very attitude, then keep asking where is our pass when it is like right infront of his face.
Then reached office tried to complete my flash... but kept on getting stuck, something wrong with the god damn bloody program, after 2 hrs im still back at square one... URGH! BLOODY FLASH!
When i play badminton with ming shen to kill off the anger i smack myself straight in the head with the racket while attempting to save a ball, sian super loser day. Didn't even felt like doing anything anymore. Infection just keeps getting worst. Just so fustrated~ reasons reasons... just too much i've been suppressing. Sometimes i wonder if men ever get the chance to release their fustrations~ HAHA maybe we do? just in other forms...

GT and treats

So finally GT is over, although i wasn't present for the 1st part of it... met up with all of them at kranji and me kumar and pat went ahead to larkin 1st, bought dinner for all of the ppl and guess wad we almost missed the bus. This is because i went to A7 to check the bus when the bus is at B7. Either i heard wrongly or zhen wei said wrongly... but we managed to end up in the bus. Actually the bus was already leaving, but due to the absence of a large number of ppl, they found it weird and decided to wait.
Bus trip was quite a bore, read the schedule and tried very hard to slp. In the end only managed to get like 1/2 hour slp.
Reached kluang interchange and got the trainees to slp. While me, zhen wei, michelle and weng hao did sentry for the whole night. Think all of them very high, especially zhen wei, so we kept on talking and talking throughout the night. Then got a malay uncle who kept disturbing us... and a slping buddah in the terminal to entertain us. And tell u kluang bus terminal is very sickening... everytime got the burnt tire smell and occasionally smoke smell + lots of motorbike zooming ard. Breakfast was lousy, instead of getting solid food such as mee goreng, we got butter cookies, milk and apple cider from 7-11. Quite demoralising. HAha... slept for 3 mins before waking trainees up for their breakfast. Instructors packed up and waited for the bus. Tired and time passed very slowly... those who did sentry swore to get slp in the local bus service. But in the end i never got much slp. Zhen wei slept throughout, weng hao abit and mich never slp.
So morning arrives, me and mich have to lead them to the base of belumut. Halfway we sort of lost our way, so we adopted the stop, punish and ask solution. Stop the trainees, punish them and ask the seniors for route. Don't think the trainees noticed~ or maybe they did. Anyways the route into belumut was like a mine field, one wrong step would cause ur legs to sink into a puddle of cow dung. But due to our intense training and observant skills we managed to escape unscathe. Bottom of belumut reached. Trainees top up water and off they set for the summit while zhen wei, michelle and i stayed at the base camp to do recce for night walk and water confidence.
Base camp ppl slacked for a while, made our lunch (bread with mayo and luncheon) which zhen wei ate the most, then we slack for abit longer then went to set up the water confidence area. Followed by washing up in which we created quite a bit of havoc splashing water at each other. Never see my ppl so siao before. haha guess they picked up my mabo skills~ really seriously siao one. After bathing we slept for a while before wei xiang came back... then we went to check out the ropes we tied and voila someone actually stole our rope... sianz, shortened the ropes... and went back to camp site. Slack abit more before it hit 6pm. Too late, and they hadn't come down. So the 3 of us chionged up without anything but our torchlights, which was damn stupid... cos we never even take any water with us. Sianz, lucky we have trained before, so we managed to survive. Things were getting bad as the sky grew darker, 1 hr into the forest and we haven't found them, kept perverting now and then but to no avalid. Not so for the next 30 mins, no sound. Then when at last our pervert was replyed we were quite happy. By the time we met up with them the area was begining to darken. So we hurried them on and motivate them. Lalala down the slope. Another 2 hrs of trekking down in nightfall and we reached the base. Almost got lost 2 times. Once reach base camp it was decided that we 3 take for the rest of the night. The rest of the instructors, down. Watched them eat dinner, fill water before proceeding on with the night walk. At the same time i went to take water and medication for ah lai and mich. All of us dehydrated... + check out the water confidence ropes. Guess WAd, Some KKB stole the ropes, all of them. Man tell me why malaysians like to steal things so much... no choice after discussion we would lead them one by one... Then we started night walk. Nothing much really just made them walk into soft sand, trees and rocks.
Then came water confidence. Everytime it was my turn to lead, michelle would be so kind to choose a hum ji trainee and i would freeze in the water while waiting. So in the end i like got all the humji trainees who won't dare to jump. Urgh... water very cold. Don't understand why they cannot just jump off the stone into the shallow water... But aiya wad to do... Leading them was the more difficult part as i have to constantly look out for the route and also be ready incase any of them fall n get hurt. Funny thing is when i get them to lie down to wash up... especially those with abrasion. I know how it feels cos that time i also have abrasion... haha Ohh all the abrasion ppl! ALL HAIL! After that im very positive all the trainees are freezing, well the instructors as well, since we are drenched... So back to camp change up for the trainees, then slp. For the instructors it was change up, eat dinner, clean up, brief discussion on schedule before we slp. 2 hrs of slp before we woke up to change. Got them started for breakfast, before kumar came to relieve us. Back to camp, busied with packing up collecting water while the trainees took their theory test and drank water from their *survival kit*. Break camp, then set off towards the main road. Waited a while for the bus, reached kluang, let them have their own time for eating lunch. Then we recalled some stupid things we've done back then, like once our instructors weren't looking we threw the gadget pole,step,cross and did all those "illegal" stuff... Hoho, coolz after a long long decision we finally ate at the bus terminal. I ate 2 meals. Dunno why im god damn hungry. Went down, made the trainees do survey, then board the bus back to larkin. During the bus journey i watched "the one" and at the same time helped zhen wei mark the test papers. Ayio guess wad weng hao salivate on his shirt, then when he woke up and swung his head he created a whole string of saliva. While im not particualarly disgusted or affected, it was an interesting sight to see. Trainee's test papers were very funny, i mean when u mark it, u can see the answers they give... Some of them try to bullshit their way through, or smoke... but smoke won't help. Some just leave blank. Hai HIAIIIA WHY! lolx
Reached back to sp made them wash equipment, while we had our meeting. Alot of disagreements... UNhappiness... divided views, u name it. Meeting was adjourned and the final PT was carried out, super siong, super siong pt. Do this do tat, run here run there, shout here shout there. But somehow i still feel like its only a normal upgrading training, like OUR upgrading training... After that finish camp and bathe, before that more decisions to make, suddenly i feel so sick of making decision. Thats why i always said, leadership stinks... it stinks to the core. Why can't ppl just find a place to lie down talk, play, slp... why can't i? Life sucks... After that was the ceremony, gave their certs, badges and floatation. Then went to eat with them, trainees sure have a very big appetite, oH no.. hope we didn't pass it to them. They eat so much more then i did leh... they are very pro... WAHhaaha. Next day still have to treat them swensens...